39 weeks 5 days

Well another week has come and gone since my last OB update and no news means no news :( I had my OB check up yesterday morning and left there feeling frustrated and depressed. Hence, why I had not written this post yesterday. Its still hard to handle that I am two days away from my due date and still nothing. I guess for others this is normal and technically I am not late until after Sunday but nonetheless this is very NEW territory for me. Both P and Henry were over a week early so I have no idea what its like to literally be waiting. And with Henry it seemed to happen so much faster... I went to the doctor on that Monday for a check up was at 3 centimeters and had him that Friday night. However, I have been dilated at 3 centimeters for three OB checkups in a row. It is beyond frustrating that my body is not following suit and showing the same pattern as with the first two labors. I like to be in control, I like to have a plan and know what to expect and this is completely taken me out of my comfort zone. I have no idea when he will come and this is not going in any of the directions I had planned or thought about. There's so much pressure and anxiety that I am experiencing; and most of it is coming from me. I've tried just about everything that supposedly helps induce labor and nothing is changing the current situation. I thought I'd have a Christmas baby and slowly I am coming to grips with the fact that may not happen. After my doctor's appointment I was in tears.. a little meltdown might have occurred. BACH policy is induction after 41 weeks so I have another appointment scheduled for next Thursday, December 22 in the afternoon. If I make this appointment because there is still no baby, we will set up our induction day for the following week probably on that Tuesday. So that would mean a total change of plans.. for all of us! Its a little scary on my end as well. I've never been induced before and don't know what to expect and then there's always that risk that with inductions there's a possibly that a C section might have to happen in the end... which is not at all in the plans or plan of action. I am trying to stay positive and know that he will come when he is ready and that this is all in God's timing and there is honestly nothing I can do about it. Prayers and good thoughts would be greatly appreciated for our family right now. If there was ever a lesson in learning patience and that life doesn't always happen on my schedule, the time is now. Stay tuned on this ever rolling roller coaster and maybe one of these days baby will make his arrival and I'll be sharing the birth story on here :)